Monday, April 29, 2013

30 Things to get done after 30.

Ok... 40 is coming... next year I turn 40. Time to start the bucket list! Here goes... let me know what your favourite one is.

1. Print one of my picture books...even if it is only for myself even if it doesn't get picked up by a publisher. This makes me excited just thinking about it. I want my kids to see and read the books I have written. I am tired of having them stuck on my computer for no one to enjoy.

2. Travel to Italy and Portugal Need I say more?

3. Be able to do at least 5 chin ups. I'd like to have more strength as I get older.

4. Homeschool and raise happy children who love learning.

5. Try a new job/career.
I don't have any ideas, but I want to open for opportunities. Right now, I'll stick with being self employed as a Baby Sign Instructor.  Love my  job!

6. Write in my journal more.
You'd almost never know I was a writer. I have a hard time getting words on paper... they like to stay in my mind longer than I'd like to admit.

7. Go caving.

8. Scuba dive more.
I always use the excuse it's too expensive or complicated to organize, the truth is I just need to book and go. I got my open waters a long time ago and would have to upgrade. I will do this soon.

9. Swim with the wild dolphin.
I have already started saving for this one. I am hoping to go for my 40th birthday.

10. Remarry my husband all over again.
Cause he's awesome and I want another party.

11. Purchase nicer furniture.
Most of our stuff has been given to us, I'd like to learn what I love and decorate my home with my style... when I find out what my style is.

12. Landscape our yard, upgrade our kitchen.

13. Do a tri-a-tholon.

14. Buy a van.
I'm a sell out, I know... but hey I have kids, and it just makes sense!

15. Surprise myself on doing something out of character and being good at it.

16. Buy more green products.

17. Change all my makeup over to organic makeup.
I heard of this place in Mission that has fantastic stuff... I'll need to take a peek. Next makeup purchase won't be at Shoppers!

18. Be a better friend to the friend who are good to me.

19. Be a better granddaughter and daughter.
My grandma is 91. I need to call her more.

20. Be a better wife and mother.

21. Learn how to speak French

22. Visit Montreal and speak French.

23. Go on a trip with just my mom and me.
Anywhere really.

24. Become financially independent.

25. Go to more jazz fesitvals and outside concerts with my children.

26. Camp more with the family.

27. Start an appreciation journal.
The key to happy life is to be happy... so talk about it everyday and it becomes a happy life everyday.

28. Read the many books I want to read. Positive self thinking to positive raised children.
(Debt Cures, The Power of Positive Thinking, Think and Grow Rich, Ask and It is Given, Fit or Fat, The Spark, The Secret Science of Smiling, Project Based Homescholing)

29. Share my love of learning and laughter with EVERYONE!

30. Volunteer more
. I'd like to teach my children the importance of community and giving back.

Well... see you in 30 years... I'll let you know.

Wednesday, April 24, 2013

"Happy, positive, kind people have happy, positive, kind children."

So I've been reading more and more. Remembering that "Readers are always Leaders."
I want to be my children's leader. I want them to want a life that is full of joy, laughter, learning, loving and living. I want them to love learning, to embrace books, to share kindness and to love themselves. Therefore I know I need to work on loving myself, sharing kindness, embrace books and keep learning. Children learn best by copying what they see. So I must live the life I want for my children now.

This book I am reading, "Ask and It is Given." has been inspiring to me lately. It discusses how everything we think and feel is in direct relation to our life. But it's a bit different from what most people believe. Most people believe that we feel something based on what happens or what we observed in our lives. This book discusses that we can CHOOSE what to feel and think BEFORE things happen in our life. And futhermore, we can alter the future based on our own thoughts and feelings.

We all know that our emotions ,good and bad, come from what we think about. This makes sense. We think negative thoughts, or have an argument in our heads, talk down about ourselves or others in our minds and we feel crappy. When we think positive thoughts about others, ourselves, or things in our lives, we feel good. If we think about things we enjoy or things we look forward to, we ultimately feel happy and joyful inside.

So why not control this? Why not take back the powerless feeling that life is just moving us along and choose to move life along ourselves, based on our thoughts.

If you start to appreciate what you already have then you focus on the gratitude of your life, your loved ones, and especially yourself. You can start to feel joy now! Today! This minute!

I read this quote that sticks with me often. It goes like this...

"You get what you think about most of the time."

What do you think about most of the time?

You can predict the future of your day based on your thoughts. Therefore, you can predict your future. Think positive thoughts, focus on the good in yourself, your children, your environment. Then feel that wonderful happy feeling inside. You will see before your eyes a world that manifests joy.

Another quote I love...
"Happy, positive, kind people have happy, positive, kind children."

The next question people have is HOW?
How can I do this. I have been thinking negative thoughts for so long, how can I change over night? 
You can't change overnight. You must choose to work on what you think everyday

1. Each time a negative thought enters your mind, change the channel. Don't just try to shut it off, that doesn't work. Think about something you love, like and dream about instead. Try to hold that thought until you feel it inside. You feel that happiness.

2. Buy a positive self help book, keep it by your beside. Read a page in the morning and a page before bed. 

3. Watch positive movies, or shows. Listen to only positive music. No more country music for you... too many people loosing their pick up trucks, dogs and wives in country music. hehe. 

4. Surround yourself with positive upbeat people. Surround yourself with people who have what you want.

5. Be careful who you listen to. If you are wanting a certain life, a lover, money, happy children, good health, then only listen to those who already have this. Don't take advice from those who do not have what you want. It only makes sense to listen to financial advice from somebody who has a lot of money.

6. Yoga, healthy fresh food, exersise, meditation, long walks, swimming, horse back riding, getting into nature. Think of what makes you feel the most happy, peaceful and what works to recharge and do that.

Start with small steps. Don't overwhelm yourself, no expectations. Just love a little more today. Appreciate a little more today.  

A happy life is just a string of happy moments and memories. You create them in your everyday.

Happy Parenting, Happy Living.

Sunday, April 7, 2013

Hitting and Agression under 4years old

At this young age, most children do not have the words or skills to get their needs met and they lash out (hit) because they simply don't know what else to do. Toddlers are short on language and social skills and when they play with other children, they can get easily frustrated misread the situation.

It is developmentally normal for toddlers to hit. It is a parent's job to supervise and handle toddlers kindly and firmly until they are ready to learn more effective ways to communicate. Kids will grow out of it if they get help (skills training) instead of  a model of violence (hitting back or screaming).


1. Talk to them as you remove them from the situation, "It is NOT okay to hit people. I understand you are upset and feeling hurt. You can talk about it or you can hit this pillow, but people are not for hitting." You can add that "Hands are NOT for hitting, Hands are for helping.

2. Help the child deal with the anger by   a. validating their feelings b. let them have some space to calm down c. state what the problem is...validating the situation d. don't choose sides e. let the children have the last words and ask them for opinions on how to make things better. (children are very creative)

3. Show children what they can do, instead of what they can't do. Give them a pillow to hit instead.

4. SUPERVISE closely. If you have a known hitter... you must watch them carefully and try to predict the situation. See if you can teach them the skills needed before they hit. Help them practice touching family members, animals, dolls gently. Show them how to pat.

5. Language skills maybe helpful for older children. Tell your child it's ok to have these feelings, but not ok to hit others. He can tell someone, "I'm angry because...... and I wish......."   Help children brainstorm their own ideas on what to do or what they may need next time they are feeling angry.

6. With preschoolers ... if they hit you, decide what you will do instead of trying to control the child. Let her know that every time she hits you, you will put her down and leave the room until she is ready to treat you with respect. After you have told her this once, follow through without ANY words. Leave immediately.

7. Do not demand an apology. Invite it. You may tell the child, "That really hurts my feelings. If I have done something to hurt your feelings, I would like to know about it so I can apologize. When you are ready an apology would help me feel better."

8. You can get your child involved by creating a Time Out area. Talk to her about sometimes people need a quiet place to calm down and feel better in and ask if they want to 'make one' for them. Don't send them to time out, but tell her she can choose to go there if she feels upset. If she doesnt' want to use it, ask her if you can use it until you calm down.

9. Show them that hitting is never acceptable by NOT hitting your child.

10. Look into your routine, yourself, your behaviour. See if there is something about it that may be affecting this behaviour or something you can change to stop this behaviour. I realized that Geran was always hitting just before bed. I up'd his bedtime to 15min earlier and it did the trick... he stopped hitting at that time. Weird I know!

Life skills can be learned and we are the teachers.

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

What I signed up for.

This is exactly what I signed up for.

Little Mr. Independence.

Love it! I loved when my 3 year old asked if his 22m old brother wanted yogurt as well. He got down from the table, went the fridge, opened it, found the yogurt, took the top off, put it in the garbage, gave it to his little brother at the table, got a spoon for him and then sat with him while eating his yogurt. Hmmm, where was I? Sitting my butt reading a book at the table silently smiling to myself!

I love the automony I have created in my boys. Even my 22m old has access to all of his utensils, cups, plates etc and he gets his own plate and stuff. He get his own crackers, apples etc.

I allow my boys to express their independence as much as possible. I love this! This is what I signed up for.